Do-do… I was not prepared for the amount of “do-do” I would deal with as a Mom especially since I wasn’t around little kids much growing up. I didn’t grow up changing diapers, or even doing much baby sitting for little ones. So when motherhood slapped me in the face with a pail of dirty diapers I was taken by surprise! How does all this “do-do” come from these cute little dudes?
The essence of “the do” is dudes take in products and leave you with the by-product to clean up. If you think potty training means you longer have to deal with “the do” you are seriously mistaken. Your dudes will contanstly take in products and leave you to clean up the by-products throughout their life. Is this just the lot we are handed? Is there anything we can do about all this “do”?
Now I am no longer talking about the physical but about the practical here. Our dudes, no matter what age, are consumers. They have been marketed to since they were mere lads. Commericals, video games, cereal boxes, other peoples stuff, and even churches have become mass marketers in their desire to capture your dudes attention. They will be fed a constanst stream of products and how they begin to evaluate what is appropriate and what is not starts at a young age.
Back to the physical for just a minute to illustrate my point. When you nurse a baby their “do-do” is a different color, smell, and consistency than if you bottle feed. When Dude 1 was born, (this should have been a clue to his personality), he didn’t want to work at nursing so he quickly became a bottle-fed baby. I soon learned how to deal with Dude 1 and his by-products efficiently so I considered myself somewhat of an expert. When Dude 2 was born he was a natural nurser and took to it quite effectively. We had been home from the hospital a day or two and found he liked to fall asleep during the overnight feeding. I would change him in between changing sides to wake him up. Around 3am I am very sleepily changing this Dude’s diaper when out shoots a line of “do” from the collar of my night shirt all the way down.
Remember when I told you I thought I was an expert? At 3am no one expects that kind of violent by-product to be released. No one can prepare for when your used to one kind of “do” only have another kind of “do” shot at you at 3 am! What I didn’t realize at the time was this was a lesson in parenting for all ages of dude raising! Just when you get used to dealing with one kind of by-product they grow to a new stage and what comes out changes.
When they were young I watched all sorts of things that went in. TV, friends, movies, games, you name it and I researched it. Somewhere along the way things that went in changed like identity, worth, fear, failure and the likes. As a mom of teen dudes I very much had the same 3 am wake up call.
I will have to clean up the by-product of what goes in.
Do I want them to know who they are in a sea of peers trying to be like everyone else? Do I want them to protect the weak when all their peers pick out weakness and jump on it? Do I want them to love our family while their peers are pulling away demanding freedom? What comes out of your dude is simply because of what has gone in. Your still cleaning up “do”, the “do” just changes.
Since we primarily deal with cleaning up what comes out we must do a better job of making sure the right things are going in. Worth, identity, character, and morals come from what you teach them is important. Don’t tell them their worth give them opportunities to serve and feel worthy. Don’t let their tasks, (school, sports, attitude, behavior) define their identity instead point them to Jesus as he is where our identity is found. Teach them character counts and then give them opportunities to have character.
Our dudes are seasoned consumers but they are also cautiously watching YOU. You’re their example when it comes to dealing with feelings, and emotions. Being a mom of dudes is never easy but it is rewarding when you realize you will affect generations to come by how you deal with “the do”. Of course as they grow you will teach them how to clean up their own “do” and how to deal with other people’s “do” but that is a blog for another day. You will teach them by example so in essence you are teaching them how to “DO”.
Love you guys!